Xuan Hy Nguyen

Innocent but Guilty


 
Blue ,red , yellow ,green and all
sorts of coulors around me. Slowly I can appreciate blurry shapes and colours
like blue, red, yellow, green. It is very tight and there is no place for
breathing.Simultaneously I am feeling a strange pressure on my body which
tights me up.
I blink and blink…
 
Now the shapes are getting more
precise and finally I understand that I am trapped between giant balloons. I
said giant, blue, red , yellow, green balloons which grow over their ordinary
dimension. Suddenly those jolly balloons mutate into hard-nosed colossus which
might crush me to death. Childish laughter …left…right…up…down…everywhere!
 
The narrowness is taking my breath
away and my head does not stop spinning; I am feeling dizzy. A shrill yell is
invading my ears and a cold shiver runs down my spine. The scream repeats and
repeats …again..again…
Slowly these flashy tones frame
words and phrases. “I’ll kill you!”, somebody is shouting at me.
 
Abruptly, I can see a figure flying
towards me, while pointing a weapon at my face. “I’ll kill you!”… “I’ll kill
you!”… “I’ll kill you!”….Now the killer is coming closer and closer and my
heart is beating faster and faster….it nearly explodes.
In hurry I fight my way through the
giant balloons and suddenly I recognize that there is nothing under these
balloons…..I fall, fall,fall.
 
I alight on water, but this water is
freezing my body. Frightened to  death, I
hastily try to move my arms and legs. At the same time I realize that this cold water has a disgusting, bad taste like water in a thousand year old pond which is full of algae and fungi. Unfortunately my hope not to drown is
dissapointed by a stirring swirl. Behind me I see a gigantic shark with teeth
like thousands of sharp knives.I try with all my force to fight againts the
swirl to escape from the shark, but finally his mouth encloses me and  his sharp teeth close infront of me like the
fence of  a prison.
 
The only thing I can see at the moment is
darkness. A mixture of foul smell and rotten flesh surround me and nearly choke
me. I hear a big humming and everything move like an earthquake . My head hits
the floor but at closer look  I
realize  that I’m in the stomach of the
shark. Parts of dead bodies compass me and I hear a shout :”I’ll kill you …and
all members of your family!” He appears in front of me again, while pointing a
knife at me. Endurably his words resound like an echo in my head which turns
into an unbearable and dreadful headache.I cry :”Not my family …Not my
family…Not my woman…Not my child…!”           
 
No it can’t be true! My wife she’s a
wonderful woman I’ve known for 10 years. Whereever I was and whatever I did –
She always supported me. We grew up together, for me she means everything, she
was my classmate and my girlfriend and now she’s my wife. She has a lovely way
to smile and every time she hugs me, it feels like thousands of butterflies are
flying around in my body. And my child she is only 3 years old – she’s my
little sunshine.  What should I do, if
this little sun went down forever?
 
Slowly my rage is floating like a giant
waterfall which is waiting to break the barrage.
The heat in my head increases and  nearly reaches the flash point.
“Save me Andrew!Save me Andrew!Don’t
leave me alone!”, my wife shouts for help while she is looking at me with a
fearful look. Her beautiful eyes are wide-opened, they’re full of fears and
every time a tear drop run down her face, it etches my heart, too.
That’s enough. My head is exploding. I
can’t take it anymore….
Brutally I jump on the killer, while
grabbing a stinky bone to hit him. With all my force I’m trying to beat and
strangle him. Suddenly I can feel something very sharp invades my body and
bores through my ribs in such a painful way that my whole body squeezes
together and a tear drop runs down my face. I presume that it’s the killer’s
knife which hurts me so much, but at the moment I don’t care about how  deep the knife tucks into my ribs. Because I
can’t stand there watch him killing my helpless wife.
 
 I
hopelessly try fight against his resistance. Unfortunately the lust to kill
takes over me. Like a crazy bull I run towards him as if he is swaying a red
cloth just to drive me crazy. Brutally I try to squeeze his throat with my
lower arm while I am screaming confusely like a madman. Right at the moment my
fists are unstoppable and every time they hit the killer, the satisfaction of my murderous intent increases.
Now I pick up the stinky bone and beat the killer non-stop. Actually I can’t
count how many times I has hit his forehead. Slowly I notice that his
resistance is getting weaker and weaker and all of a sudden  he stops breathing while staring at me in a
deeply shocked way. Abruptly I pull back my arms and he falls to the ground
like dead leaves falling from the tree.
 
 I
breathe heavily while gazing at this stock-still dead body. Afterwards I turn
around to look after my wife who is observing me all the time. “Dear we’re
safe! You don’t have to fear anything! I’m here with you!”, I shout happily.
But she doesn’t move her body, not even a single muscle in her face. I wait in
vain for her response which never arrives.
 
Slowly the corners of her mouth go down
and I can see how her feelings towards me are changing. Anxiously I call her:
“What’s wrong with you my dear? Dear....dear ...dear!” But she still doesn’t
answer. Quickly I run to her and I try to reach her. But She collapse like an
old building during a controlled demolition and she breaks down into dust. I
can’t believe my eyes................I blink and blink.....
 
Now I opened my eyes and I realized that
it was just a stupid dream. My wife still lays next to me and I can see her beautiful
back. Surprisingly I wondered that I hold a standard lamp in my hands, that’ s
really stupid. What would my wife say if she catched me woken up in the night
while I was holding a standard lamp in my hands. I’m relieved that it’s just a
dream. I look after my wife, because I’m just a little bit anxious. She breaths
very calm.......too calm... No! She doesn’t breath at all. Oh No! I have to
turn her around.
 
Suddenly my heart stops to beat when I
see her face which is full of blood. Blood on the eyes, blood on her face,
blood on her neck. Oh my god! Frighteningly, I detect that her neck is broken
and she has bruises all around her neck. Her mellow skin which had a beautiful
shade of colour now turns into a pale and white mass of dead flesh with dark-blue
blotches mixed up with a blood-red liquid everywhere. Oh no, this can’t be
true! I can’t believe it! What have I done during my nightmare. Right at this
moment, I’m overwhelmed by this trauma and my blood stops flowing.
 
 Warily, I put my arms around her and kiss her
lips tenderly like the prince who is trying to revive his princess in
“Snowwhite”. For a minute I try hardly to believe in miracles by pushing my
lips strongly on hers. Desperately I scream with all my force: 
 “That’s not my guilt, but the guilt of my
diagnosis called „noctambulism“!”
 
 
 
(This story
is written by Zeinab Mohsen, she is my friend and Xuan Hy Nguyen)

 

All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Xuan Hy Nguyen.
Published on e-Stories.org on 24.06.2012.

 

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