Broken dreams (6)
15 WHERE - EXACTLY WHERE - TIME OF DAY
But it happened something else strange: somebody already a letter under the door slit
and, fortunately, struck Ralf this. He tore open the door quickly, but the messenger
had made off.
"Who may want there yet what?"
RALPH waved the envelope before Ralfs nose around.
(is surprised, but almost triumphing)
"We call in general only guru, the honour of his personal attention proves us: If your
both still time finds before the hour - which I have moved to 16 o'clock - something
detains me in the cafeteria, is there possibly till 13 o'clock." Without signature, just
only this lively R.F."
"If we hurry up, the master one does not allow to wait."
Ralph, even from himself very much convinced, grinned mockingly, however, had to
admit that so probably the names Guru and Master were to be used only in positive
sense from. (yes, one did not speak of RF `see to real age, optical he looked just
much younger, kept very much fitt, his shining happy, sometimes, however, to very
mocking eyes were still very watchful) about in 2019. At that time even the press
revered him what took note of RF amazed.
16 INSIDE - CAFETERIA - MEET
"That whom one calls RF which knew, however, about his call as a master and took
note of it mockingly stays with pleasure in the canteen, or just better title: Cafeteria.
He does not look up when both young men enter, drinks the coffee slowly to an end,
looks only briefly at the scenery admission on the right from him on the wall."
RF `see voice off-screen
„I know very exactly to whom I have to owe the mocking name Guru, mine younger
Almost I: Ralph van den Bergen, to a type which finds necessary to copy me is
aristocratic, has invented the work not exactly and has only possibly so much
imagination like a sparrow. And you Ralf? Always how a watered poodle looks when
I look at you with interest? It has irritated me when I saw You the 1st time: was like
an internal trip with the time machine. And I could be Ralf really mine or become still,
maybe one can be sometimes proudly on this what your both manages.“
RF observes like, besides how the men sit down: Ralph a little bit too lively what
should hide his coming up arrogance, however, now also again what Ralph never
creates. Ralf against it constrainedly quietly, orders itself with something to quiet voice
Ralf `see voice off-screen
„If I too exactly did not know, that he does nothing without reason, one could mean,
he only depends here. Because just his thing never was and is not, I anticipate darkly
that it will deal with the screenplay what sent only us Madleine. What, however, if she
also handed over it to him?“
Ralph `see voice off-screen
„You depend here? How nicely for you. Can act after time and purse and let what
always you want. Whether do I land sometimes where you are? How similar would I
still have to become to you?“
RF does not feel like, actually being seen together with Ralph and Ralf, also here
people always appear who look at them all three taken aback and pass to the press
gewgaws. He did not want to see particularly Ralph, however, accepts him, because
this future thing with M. `see screenplay starts to interest him.
„Because I never stay with gewgaws, only so much: yes, Madleine is known to me,
she is called Madleine Foresth and her office has already blocked a new, form
slightly changed again of the screenplay to me, Madleine does not know that I have
closed the soul of Heinrich VIII in the fairytale world in the area of the souls and
reflecting beings in my heart. But tomorrow I write to her a mail in which I would like
to ask them to give me the chance to put a minor part to my age fair. Yes, your boys
have properly belonged: the guru is content with little things because he also has in
such fun, but maybe is more than just a little thing in it what do you mean?“
It is not for him, on this occasion, about an honest answer. From Ralph he will not
probably get them as Ralf thinks about that.
„Is there something what you do not know about the theatrical company and film
company - what, besides, runs off in London - mister
RF finishes a smile.
„Of course there are always sometimes bigger and smaller experiences which I do not
find out or do not want to get to know at all. Madleine is known to me, as...“
„RF consciously hesitates. The dramatic car accident of a female fan, (in her
reduction were - according to Madleine - unpublished sketches to poems, to
novels, even screenplay cuttings) had shocked him because became known later that
she had consciously caused this accident: once because she had hard fallen ill with
cancer, one whispered 2nd time: the false alarm about his death would have also
brought them to finish her life. In her day of death he sat so also always with Madleine
together, they went through the notes of HER. Although Madleine had talked out of
him more than once the supposed guilt, the destiny of the woman always brought him
to think more rationally about his life after.“
Ralf `see thoughts differed so much from Ralph` see that it seemed quite commonly
and nasty, one could not compare both looking alike men internally. So also both
interpreted the hesitation differently, valued it passed away.
Ralf `see voice off-screen
„You had fans always, you will always have, even if you are dead, Pardon, but you
are as mortal as us, although one described you already as a living legend
somewhere. A woman had probably written sometimes: only what he expressed with
the object bath already everything, incredibly, he gives to everybody, or almost every
object a meaning. Madleine may have known the unknown one THEM, but still long
no reason to think forever about the invented or true backgrounds of the death after.
Did use possibly Madleine sketches of her in the screenplay or what?“
Ralph `see voice off-screen
„Pangs of conscience torment the big master because of the false alarm about his
death? Madleine and the unknown one THEM. So what? Nevertheless, fans are
always themselves a guilt for her suicide. One recognises quite new sides by the ex-
champion: the grievous which you in the past so almost in the kind of Kinski (Ralph
was rather an admirer of the sombre play manner of big Klaus Kinski than he really
revered RF) could explain, has caught up you long time ago in the reality? Now, then
you must also finish yourself with it and should not steal from us our time. Neither I
am a father confessor nor...“
When Ralph Ralf looked, he was not quite sure to himself any more whether Ralf did
not incline, nevertheless, to the father confessor: he looked at the uncertainly become
RF shy, scrutinised him amazed and was infected fast a cigarette, as usual, if a strange
idea came to him.
„Because Madleine has sent you the new version, us have two Ralf and me no chance
to prepare ourselves properly before. And I see, your hours with the students begins
in 2 hours or crazily I me?“
RF shook the head, could not keep back a dogged smile, he could almost guess
Ralph `see thoughts and he did not like this.
(to Ralf addressing)
„Actually, I wanted to be present at the hour, must digest, however, first of all the
shock what do you mean what do we do?“
„I do not know what you do, from time to time I also act sometimes what you do not
make, I go with pleasure to this hour, MR. F.“
Ralph still mutters an irritating sentence behind, gets up, says goodbye and goes away.
RF the peculiar, almost envious expression has not escaped with Ralph.
„Nothing for nasty, Ralf - you hopefully permit that I call you Ralf, because we will
come 100% ig clearly at the shooting. Ralph.... now, you know which bad call he
enjoys? But one speaks only behind reproached hand there over here. Either one
talks to him to the mouth, then one is probably his best friend. If one does not need
this and I may count myself happy not to need it, one is worth in his eyes nothing. The
very dangerous kind to which people I can count you?“
Ralf `see voice off-screen
„Damned, he has here me exactly where I never wanted to stand: to choose between
the chairs and certainly constrainedly, between Ralph and HIM, but is the decision
„Ralph has a bad time behind himself, could never take the death of his mother, his
funny kind: his arrogance. May be that it makes his aristocratic title. We help each
other what I must explain there largely.“
RF became few minutes deathly pale, then, however, caught themselves, becomes
„I suggest, we go slowly over, where I am today with the students: Film studio part E,
Ralf nods and joins to him.
RF has preferred since some time to give up itself, not only because he does not like
the driving. He is futile small a little: to the driving and also to the television he needs
glasses and he wants to put on that so little as possible. Contact lenses? Once he
used them, could not make friends with them.
17 OUTSIDE - BURST BEFORE THE THEATRE - MEET
Both men hurry up, they want to reach the film studio area on time, but talk at the
same time a little bit. The driver of mister RF waits quite impatiently. However, the
friendly look of RF admits of course no haste.
„No superfluous side streets, my good. We better want to count on the navigation
system than on your instinct?“
The driver from whom the usually formally falling out greeting was taken - RF hated
slowly to be to become demanded excessively friendly, - nodded look seeming easily
rushed and detained both the door what Ralf confused very much. But the driver
stared at him only for several minutes taken aback, shook the head and pushed the
glass wall between himself and his passengers.
RF tried to see about the fact away that his driver went more to the feeling and did
not like the navigation system, but his punctuality made no difference famous and
dreaded and also welcome and then one had to be directed as famously one was.
Ralf was surprised a little bit. So fast he had not counted on the spontaneous
invitation of the famous man. Then struck him that the driver saw by the mirror over
and over again from him to RF.
18 INSIDE - PASSENGER AREA - MEET
„If we talk here about Something, the driver will hear it, nevertheless, over
„He will only hear if I squash into here the button, the button is in the current position,
he remains of our gossip spared.“
RF became a little bit light dependent, why was so exceedingly important for Ralf?
(warily feeling way)
„Seemed to me, Ralph has annoyed them something.“
„I do not intereat for this chatterbox particularly, even if certain details in his curriculum
vitae come close to mine very much, has met me. Did not know that his mother had
died during shooting.“
Because RF became quieter and quieter, Ralf knew how he could steer this
conversation in another direction.
(by the way)
„Has surprised me very much that you know Madleine, I may find out, with which
opportunity them my friend identity-learnt?“
„Now, however, you explain to me from your view the concept Friend. If all possible
always gives "experts", thick in this concept in. I called, for example, a woman:
Friend, although I estimated them only as a film partner, partner was not they in my
life. If we want to come to an agreement so: One must not necessarily divide friend,
with that the bed, partner: then this would be my darling or wife. Colleague sounds
also good, right? And a sort of a letter friendship. So what would be Madleine for
you? Or, yes, there are still friends and extensive friends, then the latter are the people
whom one has known, but any more absolutely would not like to know. Enemies
almost, but I do not think that I am an enemy at all of somebody.
Oh yes, Madleine: she is a clever woman, a little eccentrically with her clairvoyance
or him as she else earns her living. Very great and provocative figure, from the age....
Accept sometimes strongly, she would not accept me any more in such a way as I am
now: just 60 and none 30 more, so not my darling, no fear if is there more between
them concerns me nothing. And before you ask: I entice no women, I talk to them
more, because I estimate them beyond all measure if they are honest and true.
Madleine it is and in the day of death of her best friend, yes, this female fan about
whom I know the name neither nor want to know - she comes to me or I travel to her
and I sob to her what before because I do not want to think that this friend did it
because of me. Now, Ralf, has this not shaken your picture of the supposed guru too
„Now, first I do not know how I should handle with this honesty. What do I have
what Ralph does not have? I look thus like he, am also an actor - maybe not best at
the moment - why want you to have me, besides, at shooting about which nobody
knows, when they could begin?“
„This is level it what I also experienced: no, so well he is not, but we want to give him
sometimes a chance. And I have always worked after the motto: I fail, but I fail on
another floor. If the best always wanted to give, however, either it has not been
enough for those in Hollywood, or as me saw the film, I was found myself as a pretty
boy tasteless and embarrassingly. Now then I work, whenever I feel like. If I was 30,
the day could have 48 hours. So, however, I see in you, actually, my real younger
one I which one could promote so long, until it would be to you too much or you
yourselves recognise:“ It is this, one will find me always good or better than another
good actor before me. And what concerns my more youthful face: when I saw the first
man with my younger face, do you know what I thought? Have been moved or do
have the internal problems? I was close to get an identity crisis, then I accepted this,
made fun me secretly, however it finds funny to meet me, so to speak, independently.
Make the best from my offer, Ralf. Accompany me at my works, play on my side
and sometimes see what you have on it. So?“
„There are only one: Yes, of course if one wants to learn of a person and is able, then
RF leans back a little more relaxed, now so much he did not want to talk yet, but this
was worth it to him.
„And what concerns the special honesty, I expect that from now on also from you, I
can handle only with honest people, others meet me, I must dissemble willy nilly and I
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Meike Schrut.
Published on e-Stories.org on 02.11.2009.