Dream of a woman (11)
“Not be a being or this is not here the question, not really.” as a subtitle
Back in the imagination world, as she called them also with pleasure, struck her how the copy of that being depresses was which they had visited. “Was it about one mistake that we have walked around there?” She fixed him, he made way to her look confused, shook the head. “Apparently it is a compassion with him, because you want he again is entire, right?” “Mistress have grasped it.” He had decided to call them in such a way, because he did not believe in chances if she appeared anyhow and somewhere. She knew exactly what she did.“ He does not need compassion, believe me. However, we can try out something what might be equally helpful to you and him: They appear as Hamlet, in just that theatre in which he could operate for the first time, none Anxious: They become not only better than be he, but also more magnificently than his model with which one puts on a par him, and: They need no tests, everything is stored away in your head, only they must express it now differently, more emotionally than an artist it has acted. This will strike itself him and depending on how he reacts, we know, how much he themselves internally to the negative has changed: with curiosity everything is in order, with envy it would hard be allowed, if not be impossible to compose the reflecting pieces in such a way, so that he can be entire again, so that all usual feelings can be again where they were once.” “Then is right with the reflecting pieces, nevertheless?” “As one takes it. It is right and is also not right again: it has become here thus a winged word: if you mean, you would have to change your past, then search for you a broken mirror and join the parts, but there are besides also the lakes in the plays worlds where all broken mirrors are stored, however, in addition I must travel in a changed version of the respective plays world and my search can take up a lot of time, maybe too much.” “Then, nevertheless, I try immediately here once the costume of Hamlet in.” Laughing she led him in the costume department where a splendid garment with amusing real materials hung ready, because Hamlet was not only the prince who positions himself incredibly, he was also a king's son who had to show something. “We do not need to shorten the hair, nobody will raise objection, as well as now you look, my prince.” Theirs equivocal address amazed him, because apparently it really assumed from the fact that in his forefather gallery somewhere noble blood was to be found, but her dry humor existed also subliminal...
It required no big strain to accommodate him as a theatrical pupil in just that school where the other had begun his first "walking attempts", however, even faster he finished all courses, texts flew to him only thus and he operated as if he had done nothing else and up to the first "Hamlet" it was also not distant any more...
Curiosity had moved the other in addition, a novice who was similar to him in amazing kind to examine. The respective garment seemed to shimmer differently and when required better than with him, the sound of the words. He could remember how had he sounded, this there? Majestically every act, the desperation even more if one might have seen a man as Hamlet somewhere: the embodiment of a poor prince was entire here. And apparently something struck only him: in the texts nothing was to be put out how, however, it came that this other man had the goof like he in his last image as exactly at the same place Hamlet? Only this covered up it even more magnificently and the mother Hamlet... He did not believe his eyes to trust and it was also hardly possible, actually: the actress of this woman looked 100 %ig thus like once his partner on the stage and, nevertheless, this were some years.
To the closer understanding: she, the big mistress from the other world used in addition a special magic: the original woman got very well during this time for some obscure reasons a change. She felt more attractive - even if it was not to be seen - stronger, even if she had never gone in for sports, more recently, although she had brought an important birthday behind herself. For seconds she saw herself on the stage beside a very young issue of HIM, then the senses, but only dwindled to her so long as the other woman on the stage played. Yes, both souls melted only for those moments of the play and up to the cause both women forgot what happened.
He could not know, the other had stroked to her creature something else on both hands and had said: ”Every person who feels becomes a little younger by your touch whether and how long this change can stop, I do not know, the actress of the Hamlet's mother will get the appearance which he had once before eyes, but not for very long time.” She hid that also this action should serve to get to know, was how much in real feeling in the old person still.
A bad hallucination had to have been, because when the magnificent image was finished, the actress of the Hamlet's mother had got another face again. This did not keep him from hurrying behind the stage and from congratulating warmly the young actor, it would give pleasure to him to play the mind of the victim what the younger answered, he would be sorry, it would not lie in his power to decide on the casting. “Now, no Anxious, I might do this already.”
When the younger with HER spoke, she rocked questionably the head and said: ”Quite certainly that he will get to play the mind and, besides, he might get closer to You questionably. However, the protection of an invisible garment what you will not feel and what is not a matter to depart also any more from your body (this is also a disadvantage) will prevent that he touches You, he should not be able to touch your skin, but you melt with him still on the stage and then hello!” “I fancy funny.” “Now, one will hold to You both for magician who bring forward only art little piece instead of a theatrical performance and a theatre a circus was never understood?” She smiled with these words not quite charmingly. He felt almost frightened from her, answered: “Better not.”
The other as a mind in a performance with his younger I as Hamlet and he not even anticipated it. However, the change of the Hamlet's mother appeared again and again, the more he felt internally the need to take any person in the arms, however, here as a mind it was not his job to show great feelings and this prepared displeasure for him. And, otherwise, actually, he felt fine only on the boards which mean the world, to, to the 1st time these boards swayed apparently immensely for him. If he approached the Hamlet's actor too much, an icy wind blew at him, how from a chill chamber or from the rooms of the forensic doctors. He did not know how to interpret the magic of the foreign eyes and listened in intensely on the text to which other Hamlet had to speak: this time no goof, only one very light play as if had come into the world as Hamlet.
Besides, SHE had a crazy fun, both men who should be, nevertheless, one to look the surprise of the old person escaped her by no means if cannot be brought only younger a little bit from the rest by the presence of the more famous.
She had her creature - then it became so bit by bit her piece of art and being at the same time - asked to stamp itself each of his words and emotions, now certainly none of the words from the piece, but if they should run to each other in the cloakroom through the way what also happened promptly after ending of the piece. Both beings felt drawn understandable-wise to each other.
“I do not understand only, why to me is ice-cold in your present.” “Does not worry to You about that, it will be your exhaustion, because, at least, you do not play any more every evening on the stage.” Be the younger looked ones own, aged I, he did not pity for him, however, did not want to be also in his skin, not yet...
“There may have your right.” Being look fell on the name train of the young man: "Rafe van der Heynden". The "Rafe" let him smile a little bit, the rest.? In his head the words came up, each other hammered like the words of a charm: “The rest was a silence.” “What surprises You thus?” “Besides, you are not your perfect debate, yet very long in our country?” “I had opportunity to visit it once again very privately.”
As from a libretto which he had just whipped the words occurred to the old person: ”Because we are able now home, would you allow to me to invite you to myself?” Almost nothing else was left to the opponent, than to agree, he anticipated that SHE would not let down him, where from did his fear of the other part of his I `come then all at once see?
Both male beings - if one wanted to call them just so - stole out without autograph hour by another exit away, in a taxi and this brought them to him, the driver stared amazed from a passenger on the other hand, he believed in a crazy trick. He was there already for a while especially for the more famous, but the younger man showed the perfect copy from another time. He can be thrilled to a sentence which the old person would have certainly forgotten and asked whether he needed his services on a sad day. of.Der copy did not escape as the old person winced very well and heard what was spoken: ”This sad day is indeed a very tragic and important day in my life, why do you ask me this every year since.?” “I believed, it would have changed something in your daily routine, forgive, man.” Now the copy undertook to talk reassuringly further:” In a transformation of unforgettable day we will work absolutely together, or?” This was not to be heard as a question, rather than the urgent request which would have sounded in thoughts possibly thus: “The more this day in his expiry is changed, will become the lighter it for you to mourn really really and again with whole heart, because although you have not become one yet with me, I feel that behind the facade of the chill calculator a too gentle, sensitive person is hidden.” The old person was turned to in himself, as that he could answer a little bit to it, nodded only tiredly, only afterwards he got what the other man meant. He had held up to now for a sacrilege to form even one minute of that day of death differently than all the others before, a consideration were worth it absolutely, but how did a younger get around to answering thus for him? And again he scrutinised his colleague: blue eyes, brown, very much curly hair, almost too long in the role, however, it had disturbed no human soul, slender and entwine yourselves, very largely, cheerfully like a fish in the free one Waters. Freely, yes, also he had felt free in his beginning time, very freely. “If a great feeling must be to be able to develop freely.” “Now this was spoken in change of a role text or do you mean really, I would be free?” “Are you possibly not?” The younger stopped short, he might not betray that other always and constantly accompanied him. “She must know all her thoughts, right? Do you love them then?” “Does it depend on it? I look at them as a gentle friend who has made easier here my life to me very much and will ease certainly furthermore.” “Astonishing words, mine could have been many years ago.” Of the copy was known that it was, indeed, in such a way, he looked at his own mother rather as a friend, because was never strict she, actually, but this time he just meant not his mother, but the woman from the other world. And though thus the words were right, but the meaning had become ambiguous one...
Nobody saw for the clock when the taxi driver reached the flat and because this one small detour had made, had for all three people advantages: both beings calmed down in each case in the present of the other and the drivers had a bonus on top. The famous did not come further on it than the younger pointed out him to the fact that the journey would not have had to go so long, only refused, said: “I clear this with him on another day, he already knows like.“ The driver became very pale, stuttered something before himself, wanted to return him the too much paid money what the artist rejected now also again. He was too proud to admit that he had committed a silly mistake.
There they were both in the flat of a star who believed himself without doubt imperfectly. He himself and also the younger man probably felt in the present of the other being. „If you want to have from the kitchen a little bit, only to, with the opportunity you can bring to me something?“ „Of course, with pleasure.“ The younger went to the kitchen which was neither especially dull, nor especially tastefully was furnished and poured out to them something alcohol-free when he wanted to carry over, however, the glass for him, his hand reached in the emptiness and he asked himself how this was possible. „The intention to do something for him is enough to make just this impossible: you must become only with him one, then this is no more problem, problem only: you soon want to go back again in the other world, so an excuse invents not to have to bring him the glass.“ He nodded and went to make clear to the old person which would become it nothing with common food and drinking. The classical miraculous music enchanted the incoming, the other Man had leant back around before himself to doze. The smile of the supposedly so chill artist worked like on a painting: softly, did not exaggerate, he seemed with himself and the world in the pure. „Yes?“ „Is sorry me, I did not know exactly what you really prefer.“ „Not so badly, then I will get both things.“ The younger hurried to bring at least drink and food for himself in the room. He made this actual.
The other was quite slightly absent when he poured out himself something in a wineglass, anyhow the vessel from the hand slided to him, smashed on the floor, marble just. The younger thought: “If I take objects for the help, it will work.“ „If you permit.“ Handbrushes and shovel were quicker to the hand than the dumbfounded could prevent it, the glass shards walked without a hand she had to touch, in the garbage. However, for it the more famous felt how fine needle stings squeezed into his breast, a little bit too violently, he sat down hardly breathing on the chair. „What happens?“ „No, to me has become only dizzy, understands only not why.“
In the other world pieces of his former mirror had lain down by itself each other, only a few, however, enough to strengthen his feeling for the younger part of his own I` see if it different people had been one could have called it love, however, he had never felt drawn to men.
The old person asked almost lurking: „Why do you bend down for me?“ „You had asked me around a little bit very much easy and for reason inexplicable me I was not able in addition. Now: They seemed to stand beside themselves, why should you injure yourselves?“ The appealed nodded. „Yes, I am irritated and scattered: They are the 1st colleague whom I know so short time and mean to have to get to know him as soon as possible closer, therefore, the invitation.“ Though something in him said: “Do you already not know him? More exactly look: he is in all what he does and how he looks, an exact copy of you, but 10 years younger.“ He shook annoyingly about this internal disturbance the head and went again to the sitting room where they took now both what to themselves. The younger gave unnoticed a solution in his glass which lowered the alcoholic content upon zero, because so long he vegetated in the other world before himself - he wanted to call it now - so long he had never taken something something similar to himself and before.
The evening went in overnight, they chatted playfully with each other, laughed at the same stupid jokes, heard music, scrutinised themselves in different kind. To the younger who reacted over and over again very quietly, curiously, laxly, merry struck how the other jumped against his looks strangely: the blue eyes, - which they had in common! - sometimes looked very mockingly, then again mildly, reassuringly. Just the reassuring irritated the artist, he broke off his sentence right in the middle, turned his head aside, more exactly weighed out from time to time words. From another thought he asked his copy whether this has already found an accommodation in the town, hardly distinct, he regretted this proposal, because the other also heard on his internal voice and received the permission to remain with the chill type. „If the small room so usual does not seem to you, still, nevertheless, remain, I accommodate with pleasure guests.“ This bouncing lie still came to him in spite of all almost laxly over the lips.
At dead of night he awoke with the notion that he already knows many things about the younger, only that this knowledge rested in him covertly. He switched on in the sitting room which was also a study, light, searched some cupboards, until he had found what he wanted to hold in the hands: an old selfrotated film and different albums which still showed him also 10 years before.
His frightening when he had to hear: the guest had given even accurate sentences from the film in his present of himself, was not too low. Who had then access to this small stripe? However, only he and his narrowest members of the family and he would not know that somebody chatted. One had drunk quite a lot, but he had the spoken sentences oddly enough very clearly in recollection, too drily the stranger had talked as if a tape ran off.
Could it be possible that operations to face could get to believe in one to face a perfect copy of themselves? Who thought up thus a stupid prank? How was the other called? Nevertheless, Rafe, sounded peculiar. One already had to pay attention to how one pronounced it: in English (Raiv in possibly) or in French with line about e? On the Dutch accent he was not received. (in truth the man Roffe had said what had nothing to do with Rafe)
„You have been surprised?“ Very sudden stood the person on whom it turned, in the space and I saw smiling on his older. This nodded, asked with a light shivering in the voice: „Why you look similar to me so damn it if one disregards the time span of 10 years.“ „An explanation might culminate in the fact that you hold me for a crazy spinner whom one should lock up.“ „You tell quietly, I already interrupt you if it becomes too coloured to me.“ And the young man began:
„10 years ago you smashed accidentally a gigantic mirror?“ „I did it from fury about myself.“ „What did you feel for it?“ „Uncanny internal cold which became even bigger during all years.“ „Why is to you coldly in my present?“ „Is not to me any more, I feel for you a sort of friendship.“ Also the word Friendship did not fit, he anticipated it and made way to the lurking look of the opponent.
„And should I also say you what is to be seen on the second family film?“ „You would be able to do this only from the hearing legend or if you were directly present, cannot remind me of you.“ „Now on the stripe one sees how you embrace a very nice blond and young woman laughing, they raise and twiddle around own axis.“ „You have spoken you.“ „Did not go at all, she passed away as a result of an accident, with me she would never have spoken, at that time not.“ „If they now, however.“ „I swear, she has bragged neither with the respect with you nor mentioned them that YOU wanted to marry them.“ „Oh now we still handle disrespectfully with each other, how this?“ „It is condemned that I am a copy of you, but in addition, forever young to be?“ „Nice joke, have we both taken too much wine to ourselves?“ „You have drunk 3 glasses, I have virtually drunk juice, am clear of course. Well, you do not believe me? Then pay attention certainly.“ Swiftly, before the other could get up from the floor, he stepped to one of the high cupboards, opened straight a field and had a tiny silvered key in the hand.
The landlord was close to lose the mind, he lived for 4 weeks here and absolutely no human soul knew about this key and a burglary there had never been.
The key walked in a matching hole behind a portrait very much have young wonderful woman. Before he could reach, however, in the field, the other said in a flat voice:“ Leave it, please, I do not believe yet everything what I see, but I know that these are no lies. You will know what lies in the field, then say it.“ „Now what only you can know: an old folded drawing from your time as - we say sometimes: Amateur painters or amateur draftsmen, because famous have never become your works, - she shows you not only and a letter, I do not know the contents, you have received him years ago from the executor, why you have never read just him.“ „On it there is no answer.“ „I assure you: I will hurt you, to us, no longer.“ The younger moved towards the door than he heard the words of the other: “What do you do now?“ „With your gentle permission I lie down again and advise also you, to sleep and to let be the brooding, she introduces nothing more.“ Very friendly he nodded to the more famous and acted as he had planned for it.
Just he had switched off the light in the room when he heard how quietly the door opened. Also a strange being like he was able to be surprised, he said nothing when the old person lay down beside him. Only when this started to speak, he got involved in it, he answered: “I do not know what goes forward in you, see me as messengers who had to transmit by order something, does not touch me too intensely, but something dreadful can happen.“ Why he said frightfully, surprised him himself, a wave of contradictory feelings sloshed about him together: Compassion, dismay, cheerfulness, fear even in the end, because what would really happen if the other touched his skin? Deeply in him SHE answered:“ No Anxious one, the protection surrounds your skin like a tank, even if the protection should become thinner, the next day he is as strong again as before, he can do no harm to you, he will feel cold only again.“
„Do not misunderstand me please, I am not leant towards to the men intimate.“ „It would not be so bad, but, nevertheless, plays better in films the gay, but more reliably than in the last thing.“ „Have you to put out in all films with me what?“ „Do not forget, I am your other I, believe myself: your brooding will demonstrate you only older.“ „I Will not forget your words.“ When the famous already wanted to get up, the younger touched him, said in a flat voice: “Remain lying beside me if you mean, it would be helpful for you.“
Then about morning he felt strangely that the old person had laid his arm around him than he feared to be left alone.
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Meike Schrut.
Published on e-Stories.org on 18.10.2009.