This has no titile
feels like my heart was gripped with a pair of pliers. It was squeezed
and drained of its blood. Just like you would take a shirt; strain it
and hang it out to dry. My mind was corrupted with images, images you
can only hope to never have to imagine in your entire life. I wasn't
able to stop this slide show. There was no pause, stop or eject. Only
rewind and play. Everytme I tried to skip a scene, it went back to the
same ones. Because of this, my heart started racing. I felt the erratic
beating, pounding against my chest causing me to hyperventilate.
I wasn't familiar with these feelings. They were foreign to me. My body
was trying to elimate them by turning itself inside out. I shook and
sobbed uncontrollably, completely drenched in my own sweat and tears.
As time passed, I calmed down a little; I just lied there, softly
crying myself to sleep. It was probably the only way my mind could stop
running for a short period of time. Since my brain was in overdrive, I
was awoken by my thoughts
Then, Chaos waltzed in. It completely engulfed me in its darkness. It
began to suffocate me, and my sobbing continued again. My body was
covered in filth. I could feel it smudging my face and lips; blinding
me. I could feel the thick grime spreading itself along my arms and
legs, back and stomach. It took cover in my hair and in the nape of my
neck. I never felt so dirty. I never felt so used.
I was in a room that had catered to my needs and right then and there I
felt out of place, unwanted, unwelcome. I wasn't able to recognize
myself. I felt completely worthless. I was proven to be "inadequate."
All rights belong to its author. It was published on e-Stories.org by demand of Teena Nagy.
Published on e-Stories.org on 01.06.2008.